Hey, Facebook friends I hate follow, quick question. Who takes all of those pictures of you guys and your significant others kissing? Like, do you make strangers in Central Park take pictures of you when you’re touching tongues? Do you befriend other couples who also post make out pics and pass a camera back and forth? Do you set up a timer? I’m seriously wondering.
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A lot of my friends come to me for dating advice.
Probably because I’m really good at it.
No matter what you hear, I didn’t just watch this video six times in a row.
Next door neighbor, shut up. Seriously, guys, don’t listen to her. I had a dream she had a chicken for a head. No, not a chickenhead. A full chicken for a head! So, yeah, like can you really trust her?
Showered last night to save myself time this morning and then when I woke up, I went straight to the shower and didn’t realize what I was doing until halfway through my conditioner.
Seriously, I’ve never been more mad at myself. And this is pretty shitty timing because I just forgave myself for not changing the station when the DJ announced he was going to give away the ending of Sixth Sense and ruining a perfectly good Haley Joel Osment vehicle for myself.
