Buy Slept Away :
Buy Hot Mess :There’s an image going around Tumblr that says something like “Comparison is the thief of joy.” In general, I can get behind that. But, I’d have to add on an additional, “But sometimes, comparison makes you feel like a total baller!”
I’ve never thought of myself as particularly smooth, but in comparison to last night’s Bachelor kissing tutorial, I’m a total casanovette.
Gentlemen, line forms to the left.
Me: Look, you have no proof that a shower could have helped this situation, so save your commentary.
Me: Oh, sorry, about that. Um, I’m well. How are you?
Me: Yeah, work’s good.
Me: What? Yeah, I still have an apartment.
Me: Yeah, with running water.
Me: Ugh! Yes. I remember how to, I just didn’t this morning. I knew you were going to say something, jerkbutt.
Ever decide to save time in the morning by not doing all of your make up and make up for it by promising yourself that you won’t drink any water so you won’t have to go to the bathroom and look at yourself in the mirror?
I mean, what kind of adult would make that decision and then still have time to update her blog?
Not me, obviously.
AHHH!
The first in what I can only assume will be a seven year run of bad luck from breaking my mirror has struck.
I tried a new expensive face cream and it has legit burned off the top layer of my skin. I’m wearing so much foundation and powder to cover up my face and I don’t even really own foundation and powder. I had to use free samples I had lying around. The resulting look is a Jersey Shore burn victim who may or may not be on her way to a school play in which she plays a pumpkin. I’m pretty sure everyone can tell that I would KILL IT as the pumpkin, like bring down the cafetorium, but that’s no comfort right now. Ok, so it’s SOME comfort. But not enough to justify walking around looking like a jack-o-latern.
Don’t cry over spilled full length mirror. Wait, what’s the expression?
