New colleague: I have to say, I’ve noticed that you’re one of the most put together people in the office.
Me: Could you say that louder please?
New colleague: You’re one of the most put together people in the office.
Me: I’m sorry, but louder.
New colleague: YOU’RE ONE OF THE MOST PUT TOGETHER PEOPLE IN THE OFFICE.
Me: I meant loud enough for everyone in my graduating high school class to hear.
New colleague: …
Me: And that bitch from my youth group trip to Israel who told me I might be pretty if I tried.