January 2009
20 posts
Ok, so this is my last post before I head off to the great African yonder tomorrow. My goal is to continue to blog while I’m in Africa, but I can’t make any promises on how often I’ll be updating. I have a feeling the internet is going to be a once every few days luxury…kind of like how eating raw cookie dough or changing out of my pajamas is for me now.
Also,...
My parents have a vanity plate on one of their cars that reads “PSYNCE” because they’re both involved in psychological science…get it? Also, because they’re both Pdorks.
I was at a gas station filling their car the other day and a truck pulled up in front of me. The guy in the passenger seat yelled out “Hey lady, I like your plates!” And then he...
For motherly reasons, my mom isn't the biggest fan of this trip to Africa. Here's a conversation we had recently about the trip.
Mom: What are you going to eat in Africa? How are you going to find food?
Me: I'm going to buy food, Mom. From stores and stalls and restaurants. Like we do here.
Mom: Really?
Me: Yes, Bamako is a city. I'm not going deep into the bush or anything.
Mom: (Gives me a doubtful look.)
Me: I promise.
Mom: (Continues to be silently displeased with my decision and I can tell she's about to bring up the helping-me-decorate-my-room-like-an-African-village-just-like-she-helped-with-my-third-grade-Ghana-diorama-so-I-can-experience-Africa-without-even-leaving-my-house-Don't-you-give-me-that-look-Jules-I-think-this-is-a-perfect-compromise idea again.)
Me: It's definitely a city with food and business and hospitals and museums and karaoke bars.
Mom: Karaoke bars?
Me: Yes.
Mom: (Deep exhale.) Keep telling me stuff like that. That makes me feel a whole lot better.
Ah, the universal band-aid that is karaoke. I almost feel like I don't need to pack my first aid kit anymore...just my love for Gloria Gaynor. (I'm kidding, Mom. I'll definitely pack my first aid kit.)
I’ve joined a new gym that’s super ritzy and has amazing group fitness classes. Today I took cardio kickboxing for the first time. I was shocked by how violent it got. It wasn’t like “And punch, and kick, and shimmy, and shimmy.” It was more like “Imagine your elbow crushing through your opponent’s jawbone.” Honestly, if I really imagined my...
So yesterday totally was incredible and emotional and the beginning of an entirely new and hopeful chapter of history and everything else that your facebook status updates mentioned. But for me, it was also a reality check of sorts. Up until yesterday, I believed that Obama was kind of magic. (Not creepy David Blaine magic…just that he has a way of making amazing things happen.) For...
Dear neighbor who shot me a look through her window when she saw me getting Saturday’s mail from my family’s mailbox today,
Before you try and shame me about picking up the mail on a national holiday after a Sunday, please note that I have enough dirty dishes in my sink that I should be worried about an avalanche and three cars in my driveway all with empty gas gauges. So, pick your...
On any given day in the past month, I have hoped that the next song on the radio was “Circus” more than I’ve hoped for world peace or health and happiness for my loved ones. This needs to change immediately.
Good thing I like the new Kelly song.
I kid, I kid.
My family is out of town. My first thought after dropping them off at the airport was, “Yes! I have the house to myself. I can’t believe how much crafting I’m going to get done.” Second thought, “Gotta remember to put out the recycling on Wednesday night. I should stick a note to myself on the fridge.”
When did I downshift to such a level of lameness?...
I recently drove by a car that had a “Baby on Board” sticker on the bumper. I was driving behind the car for a while and realized that the sticker looked kind of beat. Like it had definitely been through a winter or two. And then I started thinking, well, that means the baby is now at least two, probably two and a half. And that’s not really even a baby anymore. That’s...
I’m watching MTV’s Paula Abdul’s RAH! (Shut up. I’m sick and giving myself the morning off. I don’t normally do this.) And while I do have a lot to say about this program, I’ll leave it at this…some people just shouldn’t say the word “specifically” in public. Seriously, when Paula attempted to say it and came out with...
Oh grilled cheese made with Kraft fat free singles, you have the exact texture of what I think an alien brain sandwich would feel like.
I was at the mall earlier this week and after about five free samples from Orange Julius (you guys, their strawberry smoothie is dynamite…and this is coming from someone who typically doesn’t have the time for desserts if they’re not made out of chocolate), I decided to work off my sugar high by strolling around parts of the mall I normally don’t go to. And as of late,...
This morning I toasted up half a cinnamon raisin bagel for my breakfast only to bite into it to realize that it was a sun-dried tomato & basil bagel. I still ate it because there are starving children around the world that would do anything for a sun-dried tomato & basil bagel covered in apply jelly and spray butter, but I wasn’t happy about it. I hope you’re proud of...
We were out of skim this morning, so I used half & half in my cereal. New Year’s resolutions ain’t got nothing on me.