October 2009
22 posts
Let’s play a game called accidentally put your contacts in the wrong eyes this morning and not figure it out until you have a pounding headache and almost run into on-coming traffic.
I ALREADY WIN!
Hey girls, do you ever feel bad for boys because they don’t get to wear make-up? If what I saw in the mirror first thing when I woke up was what I had to deal with when I left the house, I’d feel like I deserved some pity.
Officially old and a loser alert: I bought clothing from Costco this weekend.
I ate enough pulled beef sandwich samples that I broke even so this move made sense financially, but sartorially? The reasoning was a little light in that category.
PS-It's my blogiversary! I've been blogging for a...
Is my finding speed cameras totally annoying and somehow an affront to my rights as an American (I have yet to find concrete backing for this, but I know in my gut one of my inalienable rights is getting alienated) the same as a shop lifter feeling this way about surveillance cameras?
No, right? Speeding is totally ok as long as you don’t get caught, right?
Actual thought I had after sending a rather graphic bodily function related text to a friend: I should totally send this to (insert name of any one of the guys I’ve had a crush on since 2000) and pretend it was an accident. He’d never think I did it on purpose because it would be so humiliating and it would totally open up the lines of communication again. Hazah!
And that, ladies...
Writing a quick piece about awful pick up lines men use on women. So far, this is my favorite: “Do you mind if I stand next to you for a while? Someone farted over there.” Will some loyal reader please test it out and let me know if it works? If so, I’d like to give a toast at your wedding.
Would a shirt that said this be helpful to anybody else?
“FYI: I’m not randomly picking stuff off my pants and shoving it in my mouth. I had one of those hard granola bars a while ago and this is just a left over crumb that I found on my thigh a few hours later. At least, I’m like 45% sure that’s what it is.”
Is there a way to ask to be removed from a friend’s listserv without sounding like a I-can’t-even-be-bothered-to-delete-your-emails-anymore-jerk or is it impossible?
As anyone I’ve every been interested in will tell you, I’m not exactly smooth. My signature move is getting drunk off of one beer and referencing every single thing I learned about my gentleman target on Google. But this guy that approached me in Dick’s Sporting Goods made me look like a serious player (playah?) in comparison.
Guy trying to be flirty in Dick’s Sporting Goods: ...
Just retouched my nails to stop myself from eating Hint of Lime Tostitos. It’s before 9 am.
I use GPS to get anywhere farther than my bathroom and I love just about everything about having GPS. My only related complaint is that it turns down the music automatically before it tells you when a turn is coming up. Generally, this is really helpful, but occasionally I’d rather listen to the song and miss the turn.
So, here’s my request: Could someone create a program I can download...
A friend got in touch to tell me to look up this fellow we both kind of know on Twitter because apparently his tweet trail is amazing. Always eager to cyber stalk an acquaintance, I headed over to Twitter and typed his name in. As I was about to search, I realized that I had accidentally typed this guy’s name into my actual tweet bubble and was about to submit it. So I would have just tweeted...
“Remember, I’m Chuck Bass and I love you.”
– I’m winded from the flawlessness that was Gossip Girl tonight.
I recently received a SPAM message subjected, “Hi. I’m you’re twin.” My first thought was, “Phew, at least I’m not the dumb one.”
See you in Philadelphia tomorrow!
I had an amazing event at the Merrick Library in Long Island yesterday and hope that my reading in Philadelphia tomorrow goes just as well. If you’re in the area, I’d love to see you. It’ll be fun. I guarantee it!
October 3rd, 2009, 1:00 pm Reading and signing of Slept Away Penn Bookstore 3601 Walnut Street Philadelphia, PA 19106
