August 2009
27 posts
Do you ever do something that’s kind of embarrassing and think to yourself, “I seriously hope I don’t meet my husband while I’m doing this.” Like, you’re kind of fine doing the embarrassing thing once, but you wouldn’t be fine reliving the embarrassing thing every time someone asked how you and your husband met.
And yeah, maybe I’m thinking about...
“The new Miley song just came on. I’ve got to get my dance on. Bye.”
– This is how I signed off from an e-mail yesterday and I’m thinking of using it as my standard closing from now on. It’s way better than “All best” which has been laming up my e-mails for the past couple of years.
My only hang up is that it would actually only be true about...
Oh Hey - Guess What?
beenthinking:
Turns out that if you attempt to iron your pants while wearing them, you will end up with a four inch burn on your thigh. Fun fact, noted!
In slightly related news, I feel my life would benefit from a chaperone / nanny. Interested parties should apply within; Compensation will be paid in candy, beer and rambling monologues of soul baring honesty.
I found this out the hard way...
Am I too old to hate the dentist? I’ve gathered that I’m past the point of being able to hate hair cuts, so I’ve forced myself to not cry in the styling chair after every cut and at least wait until I get outside the salon.
But I’m not sure I can get over my disdain for the dentist. I went last week and I still can’t shake the yucks. It’s just so awful to be...
I’ve realized that hours and hours of cardio a week in the gym isn’t really doing much for me in terms of changing my body. It took me a full decade to come to this conclusion. Give me another ten years and I’ll finally realize that eating dessert after lunch and dinner probably isn’t helping my thighs.
Anyway, so I’ve started ditching my Tuesday morning spinning...
If you ever want to feel really dainty, watch the Tryra Show. I did this morning and learned that the average woman farts up to 20 times a day. I feel downright British in comparison!
Off to New York! See you all at one of these things.
August 19th, 2009, 7:30 pm Inner Monologues (Storytelling Show) Bar on A 170 Ave. A New York, NY 10009
August 22nd, 2009, 3:00 pm Reading and signing of Slept Away Borders Books 80-16 Cooper Ave. Glendale, NY 11385
Ok, I’ll be the first to admit it. There are some downsides to having a car without air-conditioning.
During lunch yesterday, I spilled a large quantity of chicken soup down my front. It was actually quite painful, but don’t worry, I’m fine. Thanks for asking.
So this morning, I’m typing away when I notice that nearly 24 hours and a shower later, I still smell rather chicken noodley. After a few minutes of wondering if I imagined that shower, I realized that it must be...
Is starting a conversation with your old therapist with “I’ve missed you!” the same as saying “Welcome back!” to the fire department as they rush into your house to put out another fire? I’m just asking for hypothetical reasons not because I know someone whose BlackBerry breaking this week brought out a overwhelming onslaught of feelings of failure and...
Guys, if you don’t believe in miracles, call RIM BlackBerry support. Witnessing their healing power is like a religious experience…or as close to one as I’m going to get today. Although, I am going to a sushi happy hour later, so maybe I’m speaking too soon.
Either way, my BlackBerry is back to working and I’m a very, very happy camper.
Change your hair, change your life: Special Reader...
juliaallison:
Change Your Hair, Change Your Life By Julie Kraut, author of Slept Away
I’m going through what the experts call a quarter-life crisis. Actually, I don’t have the health insurance to see experts anymore, so I’m just guessing here. But I’m pretty sure I’m right. Last year at this time, I was living the New York young professional dream: good marketing job, writing career taking...
Last night, I was driving home and listening to the radio and it took me at least five and a half seconds to realize that Delilah had gone to commercial break and what I was hearing wasn’t a jilted lover, but an OnStar commercial. I thought it was worrisome how frantic and frightened the guy was but to be honest, I was more concerned with what Delilah would play for him. I was thinking...
Help me, Internet, Help!
easilyportable:
juliekraut:
Anyone know anything about PocketMac and sync-ing BlackBerries with Macs? I spent just about all of today trying to get my BlackBerry sync-ed up with my computer and have somehow managed to not just not sync them, but also to completely mess with the contacts in my phone. I’ve tried everything…PocketMac support, BlackBerry support, BlackBerry message boards…but...
Help me, Internet, Help!
Anyone know anything about PocketMac and sync-ing BlackBerries with Macs? I spent just about all of today trying to get my BlackBerry sync-ed up with my computer and have somehow managed to not just not sync them, but also to completely mess with the contacts in my phone. I’ve tried everything…PocketMac support, BlackBerry support, BlackBerry message boards…but I’m just...
I have awful handwriting. Anything I write by hand ends up looking like a third grader who has only learned half of the alphabet in cursive has written it. No, that actually might be doing my handwriting a favor. If the third grader was also going through withdrawal shakes, that’s my handwriting.
So when I write something that needs to be legible, I have to write very slowly, in huge all...
Another Brilliant Idea Courtesy of Me
How about for standing concerts, instead of just letting it be a free for all with short people stuck in the back not seeing anything, they organize it by height with shorties up front? Kind of like in races, when they make you stand with your mile time group.
I realize this means that I’d be standing with mostly 8th grade boys who haven’t had their growth spurt yet, but I think...
Do you ever not get any e-mail for a long while and you think it might be because something’s wrong with your inbox, so you log into your old Yahoo account to send your Gmail account a message to test it, but then you get so distracted by all of the Club Monaco and Gap Body promotional e-mails in your Yahoo account that you forget that you sent yourself a test message and when you swap back over...
An electrician is here fixing some things. So that means I’m spending my morning writing while wearing a bra and not wearing my teeth whitening strips. I feel like I should get a 401(k) and dental insurance if I’m going to be dressing up for work like this.
I went on a hike by myself this weekend to get some thinking done. I did think about some real stuff, but also came to this less-important epiphany: It is impossible for a man to be sexually attractive while wearing hiking sandals.
I’d see a shirtless guy coming toward me, confidently trotting across a part of the path I knew I was only going to get through by butt-scootching, covered with...