September 2009
24 posts
I want a front bumper sticker that says, “I’m not trying to tail you, I just want to get close enough to read your bumper stickers.” And then maybe another one that says, “Oh, it’s Barack Obama’s name in Hebrew! That only took me 2 miles and 7 years of formal Jewish education to get.”
Note I wrote to my recently engaged friends
“Congrats!!!! I just wish you all had VD in your new initials. I’d get you tons of monogrammed stuff as wedding presents. Oh well. Still really happy for you.”
Neither the bride nor groom’s initials include V or D. Why, Julie, why?
Attention Philadelphia!
I’m going to be in Philadelphia on Saturday for a book signing at the Penn Bookstore. If you’re in the Philly area, pretty please stop by. If you know anyone in the Philly area, pretty please let them know about this!
October 3rd, 2009, 1:00 pm Reading and signing of Slept Away Penn Bookstore 3601 Walnut Street Philadelphia, PA 19106
A Few Writing Samples
BOOKS: Slept Away Hot Mess
WASHINGTON POST: At Summer Camp, Big Mother is Watching
CRUSHABLE.COM: Anonymous Celebrity: Elaine Carroll Anonymous Celebrity: “Downtown Girl” Shallon Lester Anonymous Celebrity: Vanessa Van Petten Everyday Superwoman: Volunteer at College Summit The Best of…Karaoke Song Anonymous Celebrity: John Hancock
SEVENTEEN.COM: 5 Tips for Surviving...
Trying to spend more time atoning than I spend weighing myself to see how much weight I’ve lost from not eating. No promises though.
I was going to post something about recently rediscovering Biore Deep Cleansing Pore Strips and how when you take one off and see that it worked, it’s this amazingly satisfying feeling. Like honestly, I feel more accomplished after a successful go with a Biore strip than I do finishing a long race or even when I’m done with a book draft. I find myself wanting to say, “Well,...
Every time I see a preview for a movie set in England during any time period aside from now, I think, “Ugh, another movie about British people in wigs with a denouement that involves someone looking emotionally fraught running through large, elaborately decorated rooms with no sound but their echoing footsteps that I’m not going to see.” Does this make me seem unworldly and...
I drive a car so old that if it were a human, it could vote and buy porn. Driving a car like this makes you realize certain things about yourself. Like, I never knew that I was religious until I started driving this car and now I pray almost every time I get onto the highway that my car will hit 60 mph by the time I have to merge. I’ve also found out just how much back sweat I can produce...
I admire your sense of self-importance, people who send red exclamation mark e-mails. I do.
On the way to the gym yesterday, I found myself singing along to Hootie and the Blowfish. I realized what I was doing at around the second chorus and suddenly didn’t want to be in the car with myself any more.
I stayed in my car, mostly because the automatic seat-belts wouldn’t let me escape. But really, why do I know all of the words to Only Wanna Be With You? Can I get rid of...
GAH! You guys, you’re making my Facebook stalking really difficult by not tagging everyone in every picture. Is highlighting someone’s face and then checking their name really too much to ask?
I guess it is. So, maybe we can work out some sort of compromise? How about you just label your photo albums with one of the titles below and we’ll call it even?
Someone Julie dated is in...
Is it just me or do people attribute a lot of weird stuff to the changing of the seasons?
Yesterday, I overheard a woman announce that she felt sick to her group of friends. One of the other women responded with, “Oh, it must be the changing of the seasons.” All of the other women nodded in agreement. But germs have nothing to do with the seasons, right?
I also heard this same...
“Everyone liked it, although I packed the meatballs too tight and they were a...”
– This weekend I was looking for a meatball recipe on FoodNetwork.com. I always check the comments section of the recipes because they’re crowd sourcing at its best. People leave spot-on reviews and often offer little tricks for improving the recipes. Sometimes they even get into full-on...
My lips were super chapped yesterday for no reason. It’s not particularly hot or dry here. Thinking back on it, my lips probably got sunburned when I was running on Wednesday without a hat. I just thought of that completely logical explanation this morning and yesterday I was quite concerned. So concerned that I actually googled “oral herpes symptoms,” “what does mouth...
I hate co-ed bathrooms. It makes me feel like a prude saying it, but it’s the truth. Boys should go to the little boys room and girls should go to the little girls room. That way we can avoid situations such as me walking out of the restroom, seeing the next person in line is the guy I’ve been eye-flirting with all night, having to say, “Um, the flush doesn’t seem to be...
I open my fridge door multiple times a day, hoping that somehow a piece of double chocolate fudge layer cake has materialized on the top shelf. The cake is never there and instead of a fudgey baked good, I walk away with a bottle of store-brand lemon-lime seltzer.
“This is what I was really craving anyway,” I tell myself. “Mmm, calorie free lemon-limeness. What could be better?” ...
