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Having the best summer of my life…not just because I got my dream job or because I got to move back to New York City or because I somehow lucked into an underpriced apartment in a doorman building or because I finally gave myself permission to make an Indigo Girls Pandora station…all of which are true. And wonderful. But, the honest to goodness reason I’m so high on my life this summer is because I bought the cheapest full length mirror K-Mart sells for this sublet and it’s so warped and fun-housey that it makes me look at least ten pounds lighter. Maybe even fifteen. Every morning when I look at it, I actually thank the powers above for making my life so amazing.

If I knew this was the secret to my happiness, I would have saved so much therapy money in my mid-and-miserable-twenties when I was just wasting my life looking in high quality Bed, Bath & Beyond mirrors and hating every single thing about every single thing.

Guys, I can’t help but feel that this is a metaphor for something, but I don’t know what. John Green, do you read this blog? Any ideas? 

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Guy in windbreaker on the street asks me if I have five minutes to spare to save the children, I walk by without making eye contact. 

Only three chunks of cookie dough in the pint of ice cream I paid $5 for, I’m ready to take down all of big business and start a revolution. 

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That thing when you’re on the uptown 1 train and you see a woman you rode the L train to Brooklyn with three hours ago and you try to make conversation about the coinkydink, but she ignores you and then a few minutes later you see her striking up a conversation with a woman in a leather fedora, telling her that she likes her acrylic nails and you’re all, “A leather fedora and acrylic nails…that’s not even a coincidence!”

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A DOUBLE N O U N C E M E N T S ANNOUNCEMENTS!

I’m back in New York for the summer and so are my bangs. Remember that good hair day I had for the six straight months I lived in LA and didn’t deal with subway humidity? Neither do my bangs. 

I’m looking for a sublet. Anyone with any info on a studio or one bedroom in Manhattan or Brooklyn, please give me a shout. (Not looking for roommate situations.) juliekraut @ gmail.com Thanks! 

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Ignore everything you learned in sex ed. The most intimate thing you can do with another person is listen to Angle From Montgomery together. 

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