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I just bought real napkins for a dinner party! Like, I didn’t make everyone rip off a sheet from select-a-size paper towels. 

Screw my bat mitzvah. I just now officially became an adult! 

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WARNING: Just got a pair of these beauts and I’m going to wear them Miley Cyrus style (i.e. - Can’t stop, won’t stop). 
DOUBLE WARNING: Whenever I wear them it’s impossible to not be tap dancing.  
TRIPLE WARNING: I’ve never taken a tap lesson in my life. 
10am meeting, these warnings are specifically for you. I’d say, clear a dance floor area and budget an extra fifteen minutes into the agenda. 

WARNING: Just got a pair of these beauts and I’m going to wear them Miley Cyrus style (i.e. - Can’t stop, won’t stop). 

DOUBLE WARNING: Whenever I wear them it’s impossible to not be tap dancing.  

TRIPLE WARNING: I’ve never taken a tap lesson in my life. 

10am meeting, these warnings are specifically for you. I’d say, clear a dance floor area and budget an extra fifteen minutes into the agenda. 

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I’m Doin’ A Show, Y’all

Internet, I haven’t completely forgotten you. Just only kinda! 

I’ll get back into blogging soon. I promise. 

In the meantime, you can see me live! I’ll be telling a story at the LA Scripted Comedy Festival. Come on down to iO West and check me, and what’s sure to be a bunch of other amazing storytellers, out! 

Tuesday, Feb18th at 10pm
iO West – The Loft
6366 Hollywood Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90028
$10
http://www.iowestcomedyfest.com/

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In The Office Kitchen

Guy at work: So, Julie, who are your work buddies? 

Me: Um, you? 

Guy at work: But we barely talk. 

Me: We’re talking now. So, basically, you’re my best work friend. 

Guy at work: (walks away)

Me: (yelling down the hall) Why aren’t you celebrating about being my best work friend? Or at least subtly fist pumping? 

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This weekend I saw a celebrity I’m a huge fan of at a restuarant and didn’t interrupt her meal to say hi or anything. And I feel like I deserve an award for being so mature. Which got me thinking. BUSINESS IDEA! 

There should be a website where you can plug in that you saw a major celeb and stayed on good behavior and write what you would have said-to-them-slash-hugged-at-them if you weren’t busy acting like a human and respecting their personal space. Then they get a note alerting them of these interesting details and write you a thank you note for being a full grown adult in a nice restaurant. If you’re two glasses of wine drunk, which I was, the note is handwritten. 

(Only steal this idea if you’re going to do all of the work and split half of the profits with me, but let me do all of the media. I’ve always thought I’d make a good face of a company, frankly.)

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