Buy Slept Away :
Buy Hot Mess :
Here I come, Belize, look alive. Or at least look tropical. Somewhat like a vacation. Not like a sad scene in Annie. Come on.
(And yeah, it’s the truth. Belize it or not. I’m going to Belize! Internet friends, please don’t rob my apartment while I’m gone.)
Anyone else fist pumping for Rebecca Romijn when they see these commercials? I mean, is there any better “I won this break up” moment than seeing your once more famous than you ex hawking dairy product that isn’t actually the best, just possibly the best while you’re canoodling in bed with Jerry O’Connell? I really can’t think of one…and someone I used to date is currently Meat Loaf tribute singer. So, that’s saying something.
Have mercy!
1. Since you have no base tan…
2. If you were a normal height…
3. Because your hair is so thin…
Strangers who don’t read this blog, take note.
Do you want the good news or the bad news first? What, internet? I can’t hear you. You’re going to have to speak a little bit louder. Come on, enunciate, guys. Whatever. I’ll give you the good news.
Good news: I recently got up into a headstand at yoga for the first time ever!
Bad news: It’s probably going to be my last time ever because my neck killed afterward and I had to hold my head like this for a few hours.
And now, back to making this kind of day shattering news. I’ll keep you posted on anything that develops.
Me: AH! I just spilled turkey chili on my white couch!
Bud: Don’t worry. You can get it out with salt and soda water. Or baking soda.
Me: I don’t have soda water or baking soda.
Me: I just have salt and more turkey chili.
Me: Can I get a stain out with that?
Me: You there?
