Here I am making my famous three alarm pancakes.  Want the recipe?  

1.  Stay with your friend for the weekend and offer to make breakfast in the morning.  

2.  Start cooking pancakes.  Notice that she left out a Costco sized bag of Christmas colored M&Ms on the kitchen counter.  Try a few.   

3.  See some smoke coming from the pan.  Disregard immediately.  

4.  Eat a fistful of M&Ms when friend isn’t looking.  

5.  Hear friend tell you that the smoke is worrying her.  Disregard.  

6.  Eat another fistful of M&Ms and peel blackened pancakes from the pan just before they’re burnt enough to become carcinogenic.  

7.  Hear your friend screaming about the smoke, but you can’t see her because of said smoke.  Continue to disregard her.  

8.  Eat more M&Ms.  

9.  Listen to smoke detector go off.  Let friend deal with it.  Hello, you’re slaving away in the kitchen and don’t have time for fire safety.  

10.  Hear smoke alarm in the hallway of her apartment building go off.  Do not stop cooking.  No retreat, no surrender.  

11.  Hear stampede of other residents in the building evacuating the building.  

12.  Do what you can to stop the public alarm.  And that means eating more M&Ms.  

13.  Get call from concerned neighbor who sees smoke billowing into his apartment through the cracks in the shared wall and now his alarm is going off.  Tell him to stop being such a sissy about this.  

14.  Eat another fistful of M&Ms and serve pancakes to friend who doesn’t even say thank you because she’s too busy coughing and choking on smoke.  

15.  Clean up, but don’t put away the M&Ms.  You should be hungry after all of this work and might need a mid morning snack.  

The great thing about these pancakes is that even though you only eat them once, you get to enjoy the burnt smell that lingers in your hair for days…even after a shower!  Enjoy!