I’ve joined a new gym that’s super ritzy and has amazing group fitness classes.  Today I took cardio kickboxing for the first time.  I was shocked by how violent it got.  It wasn’t like “And punch, and kick, and shimmy, and shimmy.”  It was more like “Imagine your elbow crushing through your opponent’s jawbone.”  Honestly, if I really imagined my elbow crushing a person’s face, I’d probably throw up.  

When the instructor came around with leg resistance bands, I kind of wanted be like “Listen, we’re just a group of new stay-at-home moms who want to lose the baby weight and me.  We’re looking to sweat it out to that awesome mix CD the step teacher uses that seems to be the ‘Best of Beyonce, Destiny’s Child to the Present Techno Remix’ and then get a smoothie…not how to disembowel a human carcass using our teeth.”  But, the teacher is really hot and muscle-y and instead I just took the leg resistance band and drooled a little when I tried to say “Thank you.”