I’m not a fan of going to the doctor, so I just don’t go and do a lot of waiting and seeing.  This pretty much always works in my favor…if you exclude the walking pneumonia freshman year, that is.  

Anyway, since I’m my own doctor normally, I do a lot of internet-diagnoses.  This doesn’t work in my favor so much as when I type in my symptoms, WebMD typically shoots out one of two types of diagnoses.  

1. Pregnancy or HIV.  Then I find myself at a clinic getting tested for things that unless you can get pregnant/infected through Facebook poking, there is no way I could have contracted.  (Fear not, Future Boyfriends of the World, negative on all counts.)  
2. Cancer or lupus.  This I don’t really do anything about but hope that my fever clears up or twisted ankle heals itself.  

So, I’ve stopped trusting the internet and just rely on my own medical sense…basically ignore it for long enough and it will go away.  

But, I’ve been feeling really shitty recently.  It feels like your basic cold, so I went for the recovery method of “Step 1: Ignore it  Step 2:  Climb Mt. Meru.”  That didn’t seem to help so I’ve just been repeating step one.  Then, last night I woke up in the middle of the night with horrible ear pain.  I self-diagnosed an ear infection that needed antibiotic drops.  And then proceeded to immediately have a panic attack as getting the drops would entail going to a doctor.  A doctor in Africa.  And really, seeking medical attention in Africa is the last thing I want to do.  No, actually, seeking dental surgery here is the last, last thing.  General medicine is just the second to last.  This might make me a jerky Westerner elitist, but it’s true.  I want to stay out of hospitals here.  

Mid-freak out, my roommate suggested that I WebMD the symptoms.  Even though I was sure it was going to tell me that I had the clap, I went along with the idea.  And low and behold, WebMD finally came to the rescue.  It told me that it was an infection from my cold that would clear up by itself!  All I could do would be treat the pain and wait.  So, no doctor needed!  My relief was overwhelming…as was my roommate’s as I’m pretty sure she thought I was about to burst into flame with anxiety over going to the hospital.  

Then, I scrolled down the list of other possible diagnoses.  It could also be thyroid cancer.  But, I’ll wait and see.